Let's talk about (a)sexuality!

First: This is not a post explaining asexuality, if you're curious there's tons of stuff online.

Just Google it.

But yes, asexuality is not something you hear about too often. I mean, I'm asexual and I hardly ever talk about it. Not because I'm ashamed or anything, but because it's not a big deal. It's never been a struggle for me. It's hardly been an issue. It's not a huge part of me, it's just an aspect that's not there. And if it's not there, there's nothing to focus on.

Asexuality for me is most easily described as a lack of interest. I just don't care. I'm not scared of sex, I've just never had the interest. I've also never had the desire to live with a partner, or have a family.

The reason I'm writing this, is because something is starting to really get to me, and that's the fact that I can't seem to get anyone to talk about sexuality with me. I have no bounds, I'll talk about anything, but even people who'll happily share every sexual experience they've ever had with me clam up the second I try to ask how it works.

My question is, IS IT A PHYSICAL NEED? OR IS IT A WANT?

We need sleep. We need food. We need to go to the bathroom. These are all needs it's impossible to ignore. Some people say they need chocolate, but truth is they just want it.

And I've always thought about sex in the same way.

I «need» coffee. I love coffee. I drink it every day, and I never say no if it's offered to me.

But if someone tells me they don't like coffee, that's not surprising to me. Even though we live in a world where the amount of Starbuckses should indicate that coffee should be a big deal to everyone, I still don't have trouble believing them. No matter how much I like it personally, and I don't secretly think the only reason they don't like it is because they haven't had real good coffee yet.

But when I tell people I'm asexual, people don't believe me. I need to explain, and it still feels like they think I'm just not sure. Like I just said that I never sleep. That I don't need sleep.

So is it a want, or a need?

If I see an attractive man, I appreciate his attractiveness, but I don't feel any need to be around him. 

I might want to be in the same room, just to see how he moves, or see if he's interesting to talk to, but that's it. Take this year's Eurovision, for instance. I found Malta's leading man to be one of the cutest I've ever seeen, but that just means I'm fine with just looking at this video every once in a while.

Thus, I might get a bit judgemental towards some people, since until I can find someone who'll explain this to me, I'll just picture anyone who says they need sex as an overweight person stuffing their face with chocolate because they need it.